—HHHHHHHHHHHH. ugh.

I put it off for as long as I could. I hemmed and I hawed and really put in some of my very best procrastination, but there’s nothing for it. The time is here.

BOOK EDITS.

The part that requires the most work is the first chapter, which needs to be cut in half and shaved down by a third.

A third.

Do you realize how many jokes that is?! Just like…so many. So many. All my darlings, lined up for execution. And I’m just ambling down the row, handing out cigarettes.

I’ve tried bargaining with myself. NO, NO—NOT THAT PART! I cry as I hastily stuff sentences into pockets and squirrel adverbs away in my cheeks. DON’T CUT THAT PART! IT’S IMPORTANT FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! YOU DON’T WANT TO CUT THAT PARAGRAPH—REMEMBER HOW LONG IT TOOK US TO FIGURE OUT THAT JOKE? THIS CHAPTER ISN’T REALLY THAT BLOATED, ANYWAY—THE FONT ADDS THREE PAGES!

But as it turns out, I am quite ruthless. “What must be done…” I pronounce gravely, “shall be done.” Then I begin to slash. AND EVERY TIME I CUT THE CHAPTER DOWN ANOTHER PAGE, I REWARD MYSELF BY DRINKING RED INK FROM THE SKULLS OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS.

(Luckily, no one edits these posts, so I get to lump as much self-indulgent nonsense in HERE as I like—and there’s nothing I can do to stop me!)

Anyway. That’s not the point. I didn’t start writing this just to complain dramatically at you. The reason I started writing this was to ask for your help. So here I go.

HELP!

While an editor is incredibly helpful when it comes to pointing out what works and what doesn’t, there are always some bits that are left up to the writer. “This didn’t work for me,” the editor says, “but it’s your choice if you want to change it or keep it.”

WHICH IS A HIDEOUS THING TO LEAVE WITH SOMEONE AS NEUROTIC AS A WRITER-TYPE.

So I need some feedback. From you. Hopefully. If it’s not too much trouble. Just a few questions, totally anonymous, opinion-based, easy-peasy. And if you happen to be a teenager, you get BONUS POINTS. Because these are questions about a YOUNG ADULT BOOK, and I am in an awkward stage in life where my youngest siblings are in their twenties and my oldest niblings haven’t reached double-digits yets. So where do I go for teenage opinions? THE INTERNET!

READY?

Thanks, friends! This helps a whole bunch. You’re the best. (Look for your name in the acknowledgments when the book comes out—you’ll be listed as “Anonymous Survey-Taker.”)

UPDATE: I drafted this a few weeks ago, and since then, instead of cutting down that first chapter, I have written two new chapters.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO PLAN.