Blurb
I took a break from edits to write out a book description for the back cover. As if that would be a nice, quick, simple task to bolster and re-motivate me.
It’s just 150 words about a book that’s already written, I thought. That’s like a second-grade book report. Easy-peasy.
But it was not easy-peasy. It was in fact difficult-pifficult.
[Ed: I’m a little worried that these posts make it seem like I’m not enjoying the process of publishing this book. In some ways, that’s true! Like anything else, this is work! But it’s satisfying work. I like the feeling of giving my brain a workout every day. I like piecing words together like a puzzle until everything fits just right. It does drive me crazy, but in a way that compels me to keep going. It’s a sickness! But I’m a jolly little invalid.]
If writing a book is like carving away marble until you reach the shape of a human figure that’s lurking inside it, then writing a book blurb is like taking that sculpture’s thumb and carving another miniature figure out of it, but the smaller figure is doing KARATE MOVES! and TAMING A LION! and UNICYCLING ON A TIGHTROPE! This little guy has all the responsibility of catching people’s interest so they will spend some time and money to look at the bigger sculpture.
…That metaphor left something to be desired.
Maybe it’s more like cooking a gourmet meal. You have all these elements that go into it, and you work and experiment and adjust the components to get them all complementary and balanced just right so they make a harmonious whole, a taste that’s richer and more satisfying than the sum of its parts. This is a meal that means something—this is art! But then, to get people invested enough to take a bite, you have to first take that meal and boil it down (so to speak) into a single bite that hints at the complexity of the entire meal, but doesn’t entirely give away the best bits. A blurb is an amuse-bouche, if you will. (Will you? Is this metaphor working?)
It takes skill to write an effective blurb. You can’t lie, or the reader will be confused and annoyed, but you can strategically focus on the most intriguing elements of your story, like so:
First you have to find a HOOK. (If you’re writing a book about pirates, you’re already halfway there.) Maybe that’s a punchy, intriguing concept. Or, if you have them, you could lead with accolades like, FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR G.D. FERNHAVEN COMES A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER THAT WILL “LITERALLY MAKE YOU SCREAM UNTIL YOUR THROAT FALLS OUT. THIS BOOK COST ME THOUSANDS IN MEDICAL BILLS.”
Then you backtrack. The reader’s like, SAY WHAT? THAT FIRST SENTENCE HAS MY INTEREST PIQUED! This is where you reel ‘em in. You set up a SCENE. This is the NORMAL WORLD. We find out who the main character is (briefly) and what they WANT. We learn in a pithy sentence or two why we should CONNECT WITH and ROOT FOR this total stranger.
But of course, it isn’t a story unless something HAPPENS. There are OBSTACLES to whatever it is the character wants. UH-OH, we say. WHAT’S THE CHARACTER GONNA DO?
WELL, THE BLURB’S NOT GONNA TELL. It leaves us on a cliffhanger, echoing our question and setting the stakes: WILL CORNELIUS FIND OUT THE TRUTH…BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE? CAN EUGENIA UNLOCK THE SECRET…BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE? DOES SHERYL HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL OF DOING WHATEVER SHE NEEDS TO DO…BEFORE WHATEVER CLOCK THAT’S TICKING DOWN RUNS OUT AND A HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE BEFALLS HER AND/OR OTHERS?
It can get extra tough, however, when you have a story where the changes happen (mostly) internally. How do you make a plot sound exciting when the obstacle is, This character wants to have an okay time, but instead she’s having a bummer of a time! Like, what are the stakes? If she doesn’t figure something out, then…I mean, things will keep on being a bummer! Which sucks, right? Is that…are you interested? In hearing more? About that? Please?
It took a few weeks and lots of reluctantly critical feedback from friends and family, but I think I’ve finally got a passable description. “I’d read that book,” someone said (I assume with a shrug), and that’s all I can ask for.
Now I just have to finish all my other publishing tasks and get this bad boy out there…BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.