1997 - Fall

Dear Benjamin,

Would you like to be my friend? Check one:

Yes or No

From,
Maureen

***

Maureen,

Stop sending me notes. I don’t want them.

-Ben

***

Benjamin,

Why don’t you want to be friends? If you asked me to be your friend I would say yes.

From,
Maureen

***

I know you would because you just asked me. Now quit passing notes or we’re going to get in trouble and I do not want to stay in at recess because of YOU.

-Ben

***

Benjamin,

I really think this is unfair. You won’t even give me a reason why you don’t want to be friends?

From,
Maureen

***

Dear Ben,

I think you should consider telling Maureen you will be her friend. You don’t have to say yes, but she is very nice, and it will stop her passing notes, which has been very disruptive to today’s lesson.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rabalski

***

Dear Mrs. Rabalski and Maureen,

Fine. I will be Maureen’s friend. But I don’t want to play handball with her because she plays too rough.

Sincerely,
Ben

***

Benjamin,

Obviously you need the practice.

From your FRIEND,
Maureen

***

Dear Maureen,

No more passing notes in class, or I will have to pass a note home with you to your parents. Understood?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rabalski

***

Dear Mrs. Rabalski,

Yes I understand I am sorry but if you want to see Benjamin get his rear end whupped come out behind the fifth grade classroom today where we play handball and see what happens.

Your student,
Maureen

2001 - Spring

Maureen—

Are you going to the 8th grade graduation dance? Someone Special wants to know.

-Sarah R.

***

Sarah—

You can tell S.S. that I am going to the dance, and I don’t have a date yet.

-Mo

***

S—

Wait. “Someone Special” means Anthony Delgado, right???

-M

***

Mo—

No…I was asking for Ben.

-S

***

NOOOO can you tell him you got it wrong??

***

I showed him the note… :( He got really happy and he said he’s going to ask you after school. I’m sorry, Maureen! You don’t have to say yes! Or you can go with him but you guys don’t have to dance together. We’ll all be in a big group anyway.

***

Maybe I can just avoid him after school. Maybe I can call my mom and have her pick me up early.

***

That seems dramatic, but do what you have to. I thought you were friends? Plus he’s cute.

***

I just don’t want him to ask me, okay? It’ll mess everything up.

***

w/e, good luck avoiding him!

2002 - Spring

Dear Ben,

I don’t want you to read anything weird into this letter. Like I’m jealous of Courtney or whatever. Just that since you two started dating, you haven’t been hanging out with our friend group anymore. And I know there’s this “rule” that says the boyfriend has to join the girlfriend’s friends, but honestly that seems kind of dumb. Like, every time you’re dating someone, you’re just going to leave our group and go join hers? What if you date Courtney for the rest of high school, we’re just never going to see you again?

I dunno. We only get one freshman year, right? I just thought we’d be spending a lot more of it together.

Are you still going to the football game on Friday, and if yes do you think you’ll sit with us or with Courtney’s friends?

From,
Maureen

***

Maureen,

Hey, sorry it took me a couple days to get back to you. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do here…Courtney feels kind of weird around you guys, and she’s my girlfriend…so I feel like I should probably hang out with her friends.

Maybe we could all go to the game together? Or maybe I could eat lunch with you guys one day a week?

-Ben

***

Whatever, Benjamin. See you when we see you.

-Maureen

2004 - Summer

BENJY!!

How is your summer going? Camp is way more fun than I thought it would be. A lot less crafts and a lot more hanging out by the lake, which is cool. Sarah R. and I lay out most of the time to work on our tan (well…she tans and I burn). Our counselor’s name is also Maureen, which is weird, but there’s another counselor named Harrison, and Sarah and I made up this song about him—we’ll sing it for you when we get back. I think Harrison has a crush on Sarah. Yesterday she wore her daisy dukes and he let us drive his golf cart all the way to the dining hall. It was fun, but Harrison’s so gross. Sarah said it was good practice for when she takes her license test next month. I think she’s getting tired of having to bum rides off the rest of us.

We met this guy Peter who’s going to transfer to our school next year. He’s pretty cool. I don’t know if you’ll like him but since you still hang out with Courtney’s friends I guess it won’t matter too much if he joins our group or not.

Gotta go—lights out in five minutes. Stupid rules! I’ve taken so many pictures, I’ll show you after I get home and have them developed. Hopefully they don’t all have my finger in them like that one trip to Six Flags. Hope you and Trevor are having fun at soccer camp!

-Mo

***

Mo—

Your camp sounds like way more fun than mine, even if I can’t pronounce your camp’s name. Soccer camp suuucks, and Trevor is all into it and I still can’t tell my parents that I don’t want to play. Just because my brothers played, they think I have to play too, and Dad’s already talked to the coach about me joining the team next year. Maybe I can convince them before school starts.

Anyways. Have sum fun in da sun and don’t get too sunburnt or you’ll look like a lobster and someone will try to dip you in butter.

-Ben

PS—Courtney and I broke up last week. So hopefully this Peter guy is cool!

***

Dear Benjamin,

I’m so sorry to hear about you and Courtney. My time at camp is almost over. Let’s talk when I get back, okay?

Or we could skip the talking and just play handball. Your call.

From your friend,
Maureen

2005 - Winter

Mo—

Are you going to Winter Formal with Pete?

-Ben

***

Benjy,

No, we’re all going in a group together. Why?

-Maureen

***

Oh. I just heard he wanted to go with you. Never mind.

-Ben

***

Would that bother you?

-M

***

No way, Jose.

-Ben

***

Well, good. What’re you doing after school? You don’t have soccer practice, right? Wanna get ice cream? I have a seeerious craving. Mostly for the toppings, but you can’t just go in there and ask for a waffle cone filled with only toppings and no ice cream. That’s like serial killer stuff right there.

Anyways. Please check one:

Yes or No

-Mo

***

My dearest Maureen,

DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK?

If you want, we can swap orders and I’ll embarrass myself by asking for a cone full of toppings.

-Ben

2005 - Spring

Maureen,

Kelsey told me about your date with Peter. Why didn’t you tell me yourself?

-Ben

***

Ben,

Yeah, we went on a date. It went okay. He’s nice. It was weird to date a friend, though, you know? We went to dinner and a movie. Pretty standard stuff.

I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. You and I don’t really talk about crushes. That’s just never been our kind of friendship. You know?

-Maureen

***

Okay. Well, I’m glad you had fun. Do you think you guys will go out again?

-Ben

***

Maybe. If we did, at least everyone could keep their friend groups intact.

Is that okay with you?

***

It’s not like you need my permission.

-Ben

***

What’s wrong?

***

 Nothing.

-Ben

2005 - Summer

Ben.

I don’t know what your problem is, but the fact that you would say those things to me in front of everyone is NOT OKAY. What, do you think you own me or something? YOU DON’T. We’re friends. That doesn’t mean you get a say in what I do or who I date, and I don’t know what makes you think that you do. It’s MY choice whether to go out with someone or not. If I need your input, I’ll ask.

I don’t know what you have against Peter anyways. You’ve never liked him, and I don’t get it. He’s always been perfectly nice to you, and then you go and say all these things about him in front of everyone else.

Funny how when you had a girlfriend, I just had to accept that everything changed and you didn’t even hang out with us anymore. Now that I have a boyfriend, though, you expect everything to stay the same, I guess? Well, if you can’t handle it, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends at all.

-Maureen

2005 - Fall

Hi, Benjy.

Sooo, it’s been a while, huh? I was pretty mad at you the last time we talked. Actually, mad is probably an understatement.

I hate to admit this, but you were right. Peter wasn’t a good boyfriend. I shouldn’t have dated him. I mean, he wasn’t awful, but you were justified in warning me about him. Thanks for always looking out for me. Aaand yeah, I definitely overreacted that day. I think because I knew deep down that what you were saying was right? I just didn’t want to listen. For a lot of reasons. Which…don’t matter right now. To be fair, you could have talked to me privately instead of in front of all our friends, but that doesn’t justify how harsh I was afterward. I shouldn’t have said what I did or written you that note.

I’m sorry. I feel really lucky to have you as a friend to look out for me. Assuming we still are friends and I didn’t completely wreck our friendship. That would suck.

Anyways, write me back if you’re not too mad at me, and if you are too mad at me I guess I’ll find out by you not responding. Either way, I’ll see you in physics tomorrow.

From,
Maureen

***

Maureen,

It’s cool. Everyone makes mistakes. Oh hey, happy late birthday!

-Ben

***

Ben—

Thanks…? That’s all you have to say in response to that whole long letter?

***

What did you want me to say?

-Ben

***

Something more than “it’s cool” and “happy late birthday”? We’ve been friends for almost ten years, do you seriously not have anything more to say than that?

***

Not really.

-Ben

***

Okay. I guess that’s that, then. See you around.

-Maureen

***

Benj-oh-man,

Hey. So Maureen’s like, really upset. She didn’t tell me exactly what you guys talked about, but honestly, I’ve been hearing both sides of this story since ninth grade and I would like to state officially, for the record, that you are both idiots. I mean, I love you, and when it comes to anything other than each other, you seem to be sensible enough. In a way, that’s what makes you such a good match. Compatible levels of idiocy.

Here’s the deal, Shaquille O’Neal: the short story is that Maureen has always been way in love with you, and although she is too proud and stubborn to admit it even to me (except once at a sleepover at Sarah’s when everyone else was asleep and she was all hopped up on Twizzlers), and although she would murder me to death by slow, agonizing torture if she ever knew I was telling you any of this…it’s true.

Seriously, if you didn’t have some sort of inkling about this, I question your observational skills. But anyway. You should like ask her out or something. You know. Like normal people do.

Or don’t. It’s your life.

kbai.
Kel-C

***

KELSY I SWEAR—WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL NOW TO TELL ME THIS??

-Ben

***

You spelled my name wrong.

-KelsEy

***

THAT’S HOW FLUSTERED I AM, WOMAN. (But also sorry.)

-Ben

***

Dearest of Maureens,

Over the course of our many years’ correspondence, both in person and in writing, it has come to my attention that you are the mos

Nope. This is stupid. I was trying to write something flowery because this is a very important note. Maybe the most important one I’ve ever written. No, wait. Actually I think the most important note I ever wrote was the one where I said I would be your friend as long as we didn’t play handball. That’s worked out real well, huh? Did you know I kept the first note you ever sent me, asking if I would be your friend? Lame, but true.

I guess that’s really as complicated as it needs to be, right? Here goes.

I think you are very nice and stuff. Do you want to go out with me? (Romantically…just to be clear.) Please check one:

Yes or No

Love,
Benjamin

***

Sweet Benjamin,

Who writes notes anymore? Come find me and ask me to my face, you coward.

Love,
Maureen